Wedding preparation can be scary. But you know what’s scarier? To focus more on your wedding rather than the preparation of the marriage itself. We all have our own dream wedding and we want it to be perfect. We dream of having flawless weddings where everyone can have fun and a night that everyone will always remember. Far too often, we think of marriage as a destination, while it is actually a journey. While we love weddings, here at AXIOO, we value love and the covenant it makes much, much more than the one-day event. That’s why we believe that it’s crucial for couples to really get to know what they’re signing up to for before the actual wedding day. Here are a few things that we think you should know before getting married.
Marriage is not a contract
Many times, we treat marriage like a formal contract based on happiness. We think that as long as we’re able to be passionate with each other, or when we’re able to pay our bills, that would be enough reason to stay in a marriage. When we view marriage this way, however, the relationship becomes transactional, and when one party isn’t paying the bill – that’s it, game over.
Marriage requires a commitment that regardless of anything that comes your way, you’re still ALL in. It’s a love that understands that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other. It unites not just duty and passion, but emotions and promise. It’s not about your needs, it’s about mutual service and submission to one another’s needs.
Marriage is not a destination, it’s a journey. It will intensify your problems, not fix them.
A lot of us think that by marrying that person, their flaws and imperfections will go away. We treat marriage like some sort of magic that will banish all those flaws we and our partners have. But, when we’re actually married and realise that we have to spend the rest of our lives with them along with their insecurities, imperfections and other flaws, it is so easy for us to get angry, cynical and jaded.
The person you are going to marry today is going to be the same person fifty years from now, so, don’t be foolish. Those flaws you’re ignoring and you think might change or marriage will somehow fix? GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, BRAH. If you walk into a marriage thinking little things won’t become big things, or you don’t learn how to compromise and communicate? Failure is around the corner.
Deal with your past, because it will haunt you.
Do you struggle with abandonment because your parents got divorced when you were a kid and you’re left with your Grandma?
Do you deal with feelings of worthlessness or have a hard time finding purpose?
Do you notice pride of selfishness in your life?
“Spend the time now becoming the type of person you’d want to date or marry.”
Spend time now getting into counseling, reading personal growth books, living in community, or choosing healthier friends. Not only will you grow in knowledge, wisdom and character, but you’ll pick healthier people to date (and marry) too.
Obviously, these three things will not guarantee you’ll have a perfect marriage. But, they will eventually prepare you for the long run and help you grow healthier as a person. By implementing some of these points, your future self will thank you.