Can Men Talk About Feelings?
Don’t you just hate it when you’re asking your boyfriend about his feelings and he just gives you the most confused look? Feelings? Huh, what feelings? Men aren’t the best at talking about their feelings. They would much rather talk about thoughts and ideas, but hardly ever about emotions. Women, on the other hand, love to talk about how we feel. And it can be frustrating to talk to our boyfriends about it because they simply don’t get it.
Why do you think that is? We brought our curiosity to a relationships expert who shed a light into the subject. Let’s just say that after a few minutes with her, we came out feeling so much better because we understand more and we’d like to share what we learned with you.
First we asked her, “Are men just not as emotional as women? Do they even have emotions to begin with?” to which she replied with a resounding, “YES!” Apparently, men have just as much emotions as women do. The only difference is that men do not have the language for it. Scientifically speaking, women and men differ in the way they use their brain when it comes to emotions. Women have the ability to connect two sides of the brain, one side being responsible for language and the other being responsible for emotions. However, men don’t have this capability, hence, causing the frustration from our side.
On top of their inability to connect between feeling something and communicating it, men are also afraid to express their feelings. From a very young age, they’ve learned that “boys don’t cry” and to appear unaffected by whatever is happening inside. They also worry that being in touch with their feelings, they’d become more “feminine”.
So, what can we do to help? We often assume that just because our boyfriends don’t talk about their feelings, it means that they don’t care. First and foremost, we need to understand that men don’t have the luxury to express their feelings as openly as we do. So, instead of assuming that your boyfriends doesn’t want to tell you how he feels, understand that he might not how to do that. Remind yourself to not ridicule, instead show your empathy, even when he sheds a tear, because “real men cry”.
Courtesy of Martin & Janet Prewedding by Ivan