“Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. But overcome evil with good. This is the true love”

I really like these words, a words pronounced by priest during one of the many weddings I got to witness. These words still ring true until today. 

We live in a broken world when the love of many will grow cold, a world where people would rather hurt, retaliate and refuse to love or forgive. We know that we’re not supposed to be doing any of those things, but it’s always easier to take the low road, isn’t it? And the sad part is that this even harder to do with the people we love the most. This happens even in marriage.

There are days when we just don’t want to love our spouse. Believe me, I’ve been there. When my wife is in a horribly annoying mood and when she “can’t help but” inflict pain on me, I wish I didn’t have to accept or understand. My first instinct is, of course, to retaliate. I would have nothing of it. I’d take revenge. I’d keep score. Every time she annoys me is the same time I’ll annoy her back. I’d want to hurt her whenever she hurt me. But that’s just the easy way to go, isn’t it? It doesn’t help the situation. In fact, it’s like throwing gasoline on the fire. It just makes it worse.

The reward in marriage lies in honoring the commitment and that is to love your spouse even when it’s hard, because when it’s hard to love them, that’s when they actually need to be loved the most. Be the sunshine on their bad days. Forgive even when it’s hard. Be patient. Even in the heat of the moment you’d think that it’s unfair, know the meaning of true love. Don’t succumb to the flesh and the voice inside your head that tells you to repay wrongdoings with the same. Look for healthy solutions. Instead of meeting evil with equal or greater force, let’s meet evil with a completely different force: with good. Instead of paying back in kind, payback with kindness.

If it’s still hard for you, say a silent prayer for them. And give your heart some time to heal. Remember, the reward lies right there. True love will be your reward. 


Love, 

Paulus