With you

Erik & Angela by Ivan

Don’t marry the person you can live with, marry the person you can’t live without.

I’m sure you’ve all heard this one before, and I’m sure you’ve had your “ooh” and “ahh” over how romantic this phrase is. Some of you might even nod profusely at the truth there is in this statement. I did both. But the more I hear it, the more I read it, questions pop into my mind. What about the first, say, 26 years that I’ve lived before my wife came along and stole my heart? Was there no life before her? (Don’t roll your eyes at me. Sometimes, thoughts just rush in, you know?) I’m not going to lie to you - I had a pretty good life before I met Helen. Sure, she made it a whole lot better, but I’m sure I’ve lived enough.

6 years and two beautiful daughters later, I can safely tell you that life without Helen would be unimaginable for me. She is an important part of me, and a critical part of who I am. She defines me. But those of you who are just about to get married would probably roll your eyes at me and say “sure you know that, you’ve been married for 6 years!” and I get you. Is there truth in that romantic advice? I would have to say that there is although a little far-fetched and a bit of an idealistic soulmate-ism. The can’t-live-without standard may be much. I prefer this: “Marry the person you WANT to live with” or “Marry the person you can’t envision a future without.” Envisioning a future together. Well, in my point of view, marriage is about building a future together. What’s there to build if you can’t even envision it?

Anyhow, that’s my two cents worth of marriage wisdom this afternoon. Now on Eric and Angela. Clearly, these two beautiful people have decided that they can’t go on without each other in their lives. I wish them both a happy future together. Congratulations you two!

Cheers,

Ivan